So what is emotional intelligence?

There are so many definitions, but the one that I like to use is how well we can handle our emotions in ourselves and our relationships with others.

We can define four different domains or faces. Self-awareness. Self management.

Empathy and social intelligence or...

...how we put it all together.

If we start with with self-awareness, this of course deals with your intuition. It's your inner compass and how we understand...

...What we feel.

Then we need to manage that self management. The ability to handle this situation is an important aspect and face. We don't want to get the feelings to get in the way and we need to be attuned to these...

And know what to do when.

Empathy as we all know is being in tune with what other people feel and...

Finally, putting all the skills together, having the social skills to...

...relate properly with others. Now, why is emotional intelligence so important in education? We know that the prefrontal cortex doesn't develop until you fully mature in your 20s.

That means that these first years in education are emotional, emotionally important. They have to do with a term called neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity has to do with the changes in the brain...

...due to your previous experiences and...

...how you change.

Changes according to those experiences.

So we need to make emotional intelligence an essential and systematic subject in our schools. And so in essence, we could define emotional intelligence in our way of controlling...

our inner ability, self-control, self management as well as the control of others and your emotions of others, empathy and social skills.

Why is it important to become emotionally intelligent? Well, science has clearly defined us that.

It has been scientifically proven that...

...teaching emotional intelligence in school in a systematic way, will have clear positive effects in reducing anti social behaviour, improving...

...Pro social behaviours such as liking school and solidarity and increased attention as well as academic achievement.

OK, let's talk about the emotional intelligence. I trust that everyone understands what it is, but there are different angles. Emotional intelligence is about the ability to recognise what emotions arise inside us, and many books actually...

...say that part of emotional intelligence is the ability to control emotions. Actually this is the biggest trap.

We do not control emotions. We integrate them through body sensations and I really want to repeat that we do not control our emotions.

We integrate them and as an example, a lot of people feel uncomfortable when we are around people who are very angry...

...Worried, grieving, crying and we don't know how to act and how to be with them. We try to be positive and to change that emotional state and inspire them...

To cheer them up and we don't need to do that actually. Tip number one is that you need to understand.

We are not trying to change anything. The only thing you need to do is to be there for them, for the people who are around you and just breathe if you start to feel uncomfortable with them.

Tip number 2: When you have face to face meetings or you are running a group workshop, please ask often - How do you feel now?

How do you feel with what is happening now? How do you feel about the person who says something? Especially if you see body language is changing and someone is...

...Feeling uncomfortable.

Tip number 3 is to never pretend that you understand everything and if you really feel that you don't know of that experience, that you've never experienced this, just be open and say that this is something new for you, but...

...I want to be there for you, and I think the most important thing is to show that you really, really care. You are ready to listen.

And you will try to understand. Let everyone be OK with feeling the way they do at that moment.

Thank you.